The inimitable Hedda Lettuce, the Queen of Green, returned to Cherry Grove early in June, and I caught up with her show, at her new venue, the Island Breeze restaurant, just off the dock, on June 14. DJ Jason Smith assisted.
Wearing a lovely, simple black frock, with spangled veil attached—$2 at the Drag Tag Sale and appropriate for all occasions—Hedda held forth pithily, under the rubric, “These are my words of wisdom,” about: the Grove Hotel and the Cherry Grove Fire Department; letting off gas while being rimmed during an unusual date, made in an AOL chat room; and what foods a well-trained bottom should avoid before an encounter.
Commenting on being fucked by dainty cock, Hedda intoned, “Knock three times on my asshole if you want me!” Waxing eloquent on heteros, Hedda first shared her observations about the mind games straight male tricks, in denial, must play in order to get themselves fucked, and then, advised a straight woman about cocksucking, how to fake it or hurry it along.
Hedda contrasted the shabby deer and the angry seagulls and swans of the Grove with the well-groomed fauna of the Pines and spoke of the culture shock the Pines visitor experiences, when coming the Grove—and vice-versa. But she warned Pines queens, judging us, “There’s only one judge—Judge Judy—and she ain’t here!”
Hedda greeted the legendary China, Queen of all Queens, and launched into her tipping song, “Private Dancer,” which she sang on her back with her legs, spread, in the air. Then she had us sing the song back to her. She concluded by filming the audience with her phone, raising our hands and wishing everyone, “Happy Summer 2016!”
See Hedda Lettuce perform at Island Breeze on Fridays at 10:30 pm., Sundays at 9 pm, and Tuesdays at 10 pm.