Hedda Lettuce has made a welcome return to Cherry’s, appearing on Tuesdays at 10 pm and Fridays at 9 pm, and on July 18, she treated us to her ‘Birthday Bash,’ assisted by DJ Justin.
Jizzabella, working stage and runway, opened for Hedda (“No buts or maybes”).
Then, the Queen of Green took the stage, teasing a couple of bottoms, with whom she shared the cautionary children’s story of “Teddy the Bottom Bear.” As for her birthday, she declared, “28-years old today!” so it must be true. She conceived of a Lifetime reality movie “Squatting in the Pines,” about a “pass-around party bottom,” and held forth trenchantly about Provincetown in addition to our neighbor to the east.
Hedda traced her lineage in “The Lettuce Family Line,” to the tune of “The Lady Is a Tramp;” flippantly dashed expectations with the number “I Still Get Paid,” something of a sing-along; and regaled us with her Jewish medley, dedicated to her Aunt Nedda Iceberg, “Linda Levine from Boca”—as she renders “Livin’ la Vida Loca”—all about shopping, and “Last Night I Dreamt of a Bagel”—her answer to “La Isla Bonita.” Lying on her back on the runway, she offered “Private Dancer,” her tipping song.
Then it was time for Hedda’s game show, “Pocketbook Prizes and Surprises,” challenging three young men, David, Teddy, and Tony, to answer questions and to lip-synch to “It’s Raining Men.” By audience acclaim, Tony won the right to select one of three pocketbooks, and came away with prizes after all: a Hedda Lettuce t-shirt, a shiny gold “Ab Fab” cap, a tiara, and Boy Butter lube.
Homecoming Queen Ginger Snap then brought out a cake and Hedda blew out candles, as we all sang “Happy Birthday” to her. Hedda closed with a festive audience sing-along of “Jesus, Take the Wheel (I’m too drunk to drive).” Jizzabella’s show followed, starting with “Waking Up in Vegas,” with DJ Pinky assisting.