Eight editions now of the Arts Project of Cherry Grove (APCG) “Legends” shows, created and directed by Matt Baney, have celebrated our Grove Homecoming Queens, in diverse ways, and the latest one, at the Community House on August 31, “Legends VIII: Let’s Talk about Sex,” was, well, different—and, again, entirely entertaining.
Exotic dancers Stormy Leather and Mariano Rubin de Celis worked stage and runway to welcome us to the theater and put us in the mood. We got a further welcome, to the brothel in which the show was set, from Madam Gay Nathan, in Homecoming Queen Panzi-ish drag, who introduced the Queens—Panzi, the first and second Homecoming Queen; Scarlett Oh! the sole biologically female Homecoming Queen, in leather; Ariel Sinclair; Donna Piranha; Urban Sprawl; Beach DeBree; YaNeeda Dunes; Whore D’Oeuvre; Demi Tasse, in pink; Rose Levine; and Victoria Falls, the reigning Queen—assisted by Matt Baney, Sue Panzer, Sue Rayson, and Mary DiFede. The Queens’ proud song was “This Is Me,” from “The Greatest Showman.” Our dear Bella seduced us—and made her farewell to the Grove and the theater—with “Big, Blonde, and Beautiful,” from “Hairspray.” Silexa (Mike Fisher), announced as “a hot mess,” made a cameo appearance.
Brad Bradley, in purple, sang to us of the Internet—“The Internet here is really fast”—with interjections from ALF (Ken Woodhouse)—“for porn.” Lorraine Michels’ firefighter puppets assisted. Cris Caswell and Matt Baney reminisced about their first meeting in “Ah, Yes, I Remember It Now (Well),” from “Gigi,” and wondered if ass-less chaps or cutoffs were worn that night. With Mark York at the piano, Rose Levine, as a pregnant bride, recalled palmier days of prostitution and “Making Whoopee.” Church Lady Beach DeBree, backed by a tambourine-wielding quartet, preached a bit of country gospel in opposition to all of this.
Whore D’Oeuvre, a Boy Toy and white lacy bride, with a black lacy Mariano as her groom, crawled the runway, declaring that she was “Like a Virgin (touched for the very first time)!” A silvery, glittery Donna Piranha strutted her stuff as “Creole Lady Marmalade” and declared that “Voulez-vous couche avec moi ce soir?” means “Wanna fuck?” For a brief interlude, Angela Smith and Ken Woodhouse sang something about “Sit on My Face.” Coming out of drag retirement, Urban Sprawl insisted “If I can’t sell it, then I’m gonna sit down on it,” in her bawdy honkytonk number—was this really about a piece of furniture? Oozing sex, Ariel Sinclair gave her all to “Get Here,” in Wendy Ho’s version, as “(You can) Fuck me.”
Matt Baney brought a wistful touch to singing “Fifty Percent,” from “Ballroom.” Scarlett Oh!, in scarlet vest with tails, with maracas to match, brought down the first act curtain with a zesty “Love Is in the Air,” during which she was given two red roses by spouse Lorraine Michels and backed by a stage-full of dancing guys and gals.
Demi Tasse, elegant in white, opened the second act as Cher, with “The Way of Love.” Panzi, accompanied by Mark, sang the praises of “Vodka,” to a Russian melody and kibitzed with the audience about oh so many things. Victoria danced up a storm to “Take Your Time (Do It Right),” and other songs, and answered (recorded) questions about her sex life. Matt Baney, with rouged cheeks, and Bobbie Green and Doreen Rallo, in dirndls, gave us gemütlichkeit galore in “Two Ladies” from “Cabaret.”
Matthew George lavished his polished baritone on Spanish number “¿Como Te Gusta Mi Pinga?” The Legends Tabernacle Choir, made up of much of the cast, wore scarlet robes for a dignified “Every Sperm Is Sacred,” from “Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life,” and stripped down to streetwear for a hot “My Body,” from “The Life”—Sue Panzer’s chaps and jock and Mary DiFede’s black leather jacket merit mention. Cris Caswell sang, romantically, “Never Enough,” from “The Greatest Showman.” There was an interlude of “My Favorite Things,” all about sex toys here.
Ruth and Susan Freedner offered helpful hints from “Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex,” by Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Singer Brad gave us his glittering take on “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend,” with “Material Girl” mixed in, as in “Moulin Rouge.” Gay Nathan shared wisdom about the “Secret of Life” that she learned from James Taylor—“It’s just a lovely ride”—and she and Matt followed up with advice from Dr. Ruth—“Have good sex!” In conclusion, the Queens unfurled sheer wings and walked the runway in basic black, with hints of silver, save reigning Queen Victoria, radiant in white.
Kudos, too, to Alison Brackman on sound; Joann Orfanos, Michael Romanelli, Sharon Weinberg, and Andi Porzio on lights; Martha Pitkin, Arthur Cohen, Ellen Biggers, Clara Bogetti, Dave Medina, Maria Elena Passeretti, and Eileen Alley backstage; and Anita Auricchio, the APCG liaison.